Bastard popped out in 2012, when he decided the internet was just too damncute and desperately needed his unique paw print of "charm." Since then he’s been spreading raw truth and kitty litter wherever he goes.

The era of innocent, cuddly, adorable, dewy-eyed-little-mother-fucking-Helly-Kittys is over. It’s time to reveal the cold, hard reality that the cat-loving-Illuminati don’t want you to know.